And now it’s time for…

TALES OF PERVERSION Song Parodies!!!

I’m sitting here in the Dade County Courthouse, in a Jury Selection Room, bored out of my skull! In my jittery morning haze of Extra Bold Sumatran coffee and resinous Marijuana I just started bugging out and the result was the following quintessentially mega-stupid Pig Latin renditions of your favorite hardcore hits! Enjoy, whores!!!

Pig Latin

“Crammed with V.D.”

(sung to the tune of Bad Brains “Banned in D.C.”)

Crammed with V.D. with a million penicillin shots to go

Got nothing left to do but sit and watch my genital warts grow

You’d rather not fuck me…

Why? Cause I’m crammed with V.D…. V.D.!...V.D.!....

Fuck! When I piss it stings

Like lightning shooting from my open-ing

What is this burning, oozing yellow crap?

My tip looks like a crusty mustard bottle cap

You should avoid contact with me…

Why? Cause I’m crammed with V.D…. V.D.!...V.D.!....

(creepy-crawly breakdown skank part)

And if you bang me with no glove, it’s the wrong mind, you’ll catch the strong kind

If there’s movement in my pubic hair, it’s King crabs, but I won’t care

Oh no, you can’t afford, to let my sword, drip on your sore

My, oh my, my boxers stained, from The Clap, a potent strain