So this is it huh?!
The catalyst for our obliteration was a stupid low budget video!
The shit really hit the fanatic this time! I would have thought that the war of all against all would have popped off over something a little more serious than some extremely boring and poorly made video. It looks like one of those BETA-MAX quality videos that you can get made of you and your friends doing a cover of Whitesnake's "Is This Love" at the county fair.
The relatively blasphemous "INNOCENCE OF ISLAM" video is the new outrage du jour for the turban wearing world that will usher in the new age of quarrel. Honestly, I couldn't even get through the trailer, it's so fucking booorrrring. But I can see how the subject matter can cause outrage to the religious whacko set. According to reports from those who can actually watch this thing all the way through, the film portrays the prophet Muhammad of the Islamic faith as a thief, pedophile and homosexual. The volatile film was masterminded by a Coptic Christian from Egypt with a hundred aliases. Kind of like a one man Ali Baba and the forty thieves.
Reception of the video by Muslims has been less than warm, and some chicken little reporters are already foaming at the mouth with the suggestion that this could very well be the jump off for World War 3. And from the sounds of today's protesters in Sudan whom chanted "Obama, there are a million Osama's!", I would be scared too. The message is self explanatory I think, and rather ominous.
Really, though? Over some stupid ass video? Some shitty 'Public Access TV' looking piece of shit was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back? Pun may have been intended.
Well boys and girls, here we go again. It's back to checking our daily color alert on CNN. "Oh shit, we're at magenta with white polka dots today, better cancel that 12PM rub & tug!" Back to paying a jillion dollars per gallon of gas! Here we go once again, sweating bullets trying to figure out which one of our local Quickie Marts is the one that holds meetings for sleeper cells in it's backroom. Word to the wise, a Slurpee boycott would be ideal right now. Slurpees are an excellent medium for use in biological warfare.
Still I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, we should just leave those whacky Jihadists alone. Why poke and prod at them if you already know that any little religious parody will set them off like that weed that Curtis Baby sold Cheech in the cinematic tour de force 'Up in Smoke'. I mean, free speech is free speech, or so the argument goes. But when somebody else's free speech infringes on my right to not fear a nuclear war-head blowing up my shit, then we have a problem. Free Speech seems very expensive a proposition when it's used to agitate people who have no qualms with blowing themselves the fuck up to take you with them just to prove a point.
Still, it seems to be the right wing Jesus-gestapo's opinion that the children of the infinite sand trap need to "get over it." Anybody know what channel that Christ-Twat Pat Robertson is on? I'd love to hear his take on this! I'm sure it'll be something completely non offensive that will make things much better. If the tables were turned, would these Christian idiots have such a casual attitude about low budget, gonzo blasphemy? Say for example, some guy named Hassan Al Habib Muhammad Mustafa Jenkins published a video of Jesus taking a gang-banging from a couple of Roman centurions, or going all Roman Polanski on a Cub Scout, or any other unsavory depictions of the naughty Nazarene, how would the bible belt react?
I'll tell you how...
-A frenzy of angry tongue speaking
-Full on Koran burning rallies
-A spiking of anti-Islam hate crimes
-Rampant vandalism of Mosques
-Snake handlers chucking Copperheads and Rattlers at passing cab drivers,
etc, etc, etc...
Or maybe not, since Christians are just crazy, ignorant and rather stupid, but have no real balls to back up their White Anglo Saxon Protestant bravado. I've never heard of some Born-Again screaming "JESUS-U-AKHBAR" before setting off the detonator to the 200 pounds of C4 explosives packed into their Nissan Murano as they plow into an abortion clinic!
Leave it to those Christians man, whether Coptic or otherwise, they're always fucking up everybody's shit! What have I told you about them time and time again? If ever there was a worldwide common enemy for Earthlings to rally against, it's the Cunts of the Christ! In some way shape or form, they are always behind turning the world into a fucking powder keg. Like, they just can't leave well enough alone!
As for now, there is little else to do but sit tight in our homes, hoping that whoever pushes the button gets the coordinates wrong and ends up blowing up France instead. I mean, France, who's going to fucking care if France gets the Nuke!? I certainly won't shed a tear.
And as far as all of you angry Arabs out there in Libya, and Yemen and other Expedia vacation hot-spots, getting all surly at a proper flag burning, get a grip! Really! You guys are in the middle east, literally surrounded by glorious Opium fields and the highest quality Hashish strains on Earth, just chill-ax, OK?! Smoke a bowl of fresh poppy resin. Fire off a gram or two of some choice Lebanese hash in the old hookah and just knock it off already. OK, OK, we get it, you hate America. Who doesn't? Just mellow out man!
Tell you what, if we hand over to you the blasphemous filmmaker, George W. Bush, the Kardashians, and a few guards from Guantanamo to do with as you please, could we then call it even? Just wrap your turbans around it and get back to us, no big whoop!
And as for the douche who put together this little Citizen Kane, hey douche-bag, thanks a lot! Things were mellowing out a little in that god-forsaken desert till you had to go and set them off again. If we get hit by another 9/11 type of attack, there is only you to blame! Suck my Coptic cock you Egyptian ass-bag.